Update on us all

Wow. Long time, no blog. I knew it had been awhile but I didn't realize how long. I kept thinking of things to blog about but never got around to it. My days have been super busy and now I am gone two+ nights a week.

Let's see: ME! I'm coaching a pre-competitive program now. I wasn't sure I wanted to take this position as I wanted to COACH and be on deck and this sounded more like swimming lessons. It isn't; it's more of a hands on swim team. We're halfway through the season and I hope my contract is renewed for after the holidays. I'm learning alot from the head coach and I really enjoy the swimmers.

Adam is lukewarm on me working at night, especially since there are weeks where I am gone every night. He basically told me that interferes with his time to do stuff, to which I said, "tough cookies." I wasn't as nice as that, though. With the Royals in the World Series (yaaaay), it means he can't come home, walk the dog, and watch baseball. He has to help with homework and do stuff around the house. HOWEVER, I am much, much happier coaching. I really enjoy getting out without the kids and doing something for me. Plus, it bring in money and I've lost a little weight. I think my days are typically more organized because I know I can't put off XYZ until the next day or night. I need to get the kids started on homework, have a snack and dinner ready to go if I want to come home to a decent house and happy family.

My book is... coming along. No bites from agents yet and I'm currently on hold with queries while I work on some scenes. I'm still ahead of my goal to really be seeking representation by the new year. However, I am so brain dead by the evening that many times, I don't have the energy to write anything.

Joe: Oh, this child. This child. I went to schools on military bases or ones with a high military-kid population. I had a mouth and a temper. And I never, ever got into the trouble this child is getting into. I'm not sure if the school is unreasonably strict, the policies are not developmentally appropriate  or there's other stuff going on. I suspect the answer is "yes." We have a meeting about all this during conferences. He's being an archer for Halloween and his costume came out FABULOUS!

The Princess: She's in a holding pattern and doing well. I'm still looking for books to motivate her to read but I haven't found That Book yet. For Joe, it was Percy Jackson. For me, I think it was The Baby-Sitter's Club. We'll find it; just need to keep looking. She's going as Princess Leia... when she gives medals to Luke and Hans. Way to make it easy on me, kid. ;P

George: IEP meeting coming up. He is doing SO WELL in kindy and has friends. I have a few points I want to make at the  meeting, like how we should ask George to point to letters instead of saying the name. F and X sound exactly alike when he says them, so there's no way to tell if he knows which letter is which! He's a blue Power Ranger and his costume is DONE.

Cole: Speaking of this kid... he's scared of Halloween decor. That means any plans to get him OUT of our bed at night have been halted. He also lives off sugar and dairy. He did NOT find it amusing when I went back to work but is adjusting to me being gone. I mean, he's with Daddy so it's not like he's with a sitter 24/7. He's going as the most adorable Captain Rex ever!

In spite of these complaints, everything is going okay around here.  I know coaching two nights a week has been good for me. I'm hopeful things will get straightened out with school soon. And maybe I can get Halloween costumes will get done....

Quick Takes Friday: Birthday, blog, and school

1. Okay, yeah, so I couldn't come up with another "b" word. Anyway, I had my birthday on Saturday. I found a great deal on tickets for the local LEGO discovery zone and we took the kids. We had a great time! All of them did really well and there was only one meltdown, at the end. They took me to a diner for lunch and I had fantastic pie. Summer is here, complete with three-digit degree days so there was no way I was baking myself a cake; besides, you can't go to a real short-order diner without getting pie, can you?

2. That same night we had a neighborhood party at our local pool AND the new season of Doctor Who began. Yes, yes I did get the Doctor for my birthday. Envious? :) I really liked the show especially because Lady Vestra, Strax and Jenny are in it.

3. You know what would be cool? A Doctor Who and Call the Midwife! cross-over with Lady Vestra and Jenny hanging out with Sister Monica Joan and Strax helping the nurses catch babies. "I will now dissolve the mother in acid! Er, I will NOT dissolve the mother in acid!" It's brilliant, no? I should totally work for BBC. ;)

4. On Monday I told our doctor that Joseph and George were handling the transition back to school the best. Of course, the kids then made liars out of me and George had a two day long meltdown. Cole is still a grumpy butt but Camille is getting much better.

5. Cole is partially grumpy because he and I have allergies or a cold. I'm not sure which so I am doping myself with allergy meds. He actually missed school Tuesday because he was so grumpy and tired. I wasn't sure if it was allergies, so he hung out with George and me in the afternoon.

6. I know I need to update more but I do most of my writing while the kids are in activities or in speech. The speech office is the black hole of WiFi and I can't get internet access. I work on other writing projects but it stinks to not blog when I have time to do so!

7. Speaking of blogging, I have a new blog devoted to writing. Check it out!

The middle of the first week

Back to school night was last night. It was only for parents, so Adam and I had to divide and conquer the whole "meet the teacher and learn about the curriculum" thing. I sent Adam to kindergarten since we've done that one three times before and know the teacher well. I might have laughed a little (a lot) when he got lost on the way to the classroom. I headed to third grade and we met up again to brief Joseph's teacher on.... Joseph.

Joe had Camille's teacher in second grade, so much of the information on her style of teaching wasn't new. However, she is very into technology and said the kids will be learning how to be independent learners, monitor their own work, make web pages and the codes that you can scan with your smart phone. Girlfriend's gonna be fixing my computer issues for me soon! The teacher also said that she's been working the kids very, very hard and they could be tired this week. THAT explains why I have had a grumpy, sour-faced princess on my hands this week. Thankfully, she adores school and this teacher is a perfect fit for her.

Joe's teacher is super sweet. She sounds like a great fit for him, strict but loving and down to earth. I have high hopes for him this year!

Of course, the little boys are doing awesome. I thought for sure that George would pass out from exhaustion in the afternoon but 3.5 hours a day, five days a week isn't much different from three hours a week, four days a week. Cole, on the other hand, has revised his emo-goth attitude and is a grouch. I threatened to re-name him Oscar.

Summer has chosen to show up and it's going to 100 degrees this weekend. It is the first time this has happened this summer but still. Ugh. I hope I can steal the older two away so we can see The Giver in a nice, cold AC theater.

Quick Takes Friday: The First Day

1.

The first day of school began like this:

 

 

 

Joseph- 5th grade and not amused by the photos. He ditched us shortly after

Camille- third. She has the same teacher Joe had in second grade and is super excited.

George- kindergarten

Cole- last year of preschool!

 

2.

George tried to ditch me right away. I told him mommies stay for a few minutes the first day. He ended up kicking me out after ten minutes, which was fine because I had a preschool meeting to attend.

 



 

3.

When I picked him up, we went to CFA for lunch and then ran an errand. He told me all about "Pete the Cat." Since he can't say "Pete" I had no clue what he was talking about aside from a stuffed cat who had shoes and they colored their own shoes. His teacher sent me a photo of them with Pete and then his SLP said, "Oh, those are cool books!" Whew! But, apparently, he loved the story since he could tell me all the details!

 

4.

His teacher told me that when they introduced themselves he said, "Well, you may not be able to understand me but my name is George." It comes out "Forfe." He didn't seem too bothered by the fact that some people may not understand him, which is good.

 

5.

I met Cole's new SLP at school but have not hunted down the K-5 SLP. I've met her but I need to make sure all the paperwork is in so she can talk to our private SLP. I may also need to ask her IEP questions but I probably shouldn't harass her too much the first few days! ;) Then again, we're going to be working together for the next five years, or more, so she might as well get used to me!

 

6.

There's a new school nurse. The school year is just beginning so we haven't chatted much. Our paperwork should all be finished so I hope I don't have to talk to her about vaccines. Cole had an allergic reaction to vaccines so he's behind. I doubt I will get him the flu shot either, since that's one he had a reaction to. I don't mind explaining to people WHY he is behind but it gets old having to "justify" why we don't want to give something to our kid that he is allergic to!

 

7.

After a good first day at school, there were epic meltdowns last night. No, I wasn't one of them. The middle two were overwhelmed and over-tired, which led to tears and a refusal to go to bed. We finally got them down and life seems much better today... they were ready to leave for school 45 minutes early!

 

 

Twas the night before school....

Five years ago exactly I walked my oldest into a kindergarten classroom. After wrangling three year old Camille and nine month old George, I walked back to our car in the muggy August afternoon. I saw another mom from the class walk down the street- she was hugely pregnant and carrying a little blond girl. I called out to her, wanting to make some friends who had children the same age as mine.

We've been friends for five years now. This year, for my birthday, she gave me Doctor Who themed dishcloths because she is awesome.

Five years ago, Cole was a bundle of cells, our house still had ugly wall paper and life was very different.

Now, George is five and going off to kindergarten. We've lived here almost his entire life and half of Joe's. This is Joe's last year at elementary school. On Meet the Teacher night, he and his friends were talking about JUNIOR HIGH. Whoa, buddy, let's finish fifth grade first!

I was fine all summer. George starting kindergarten? No problem! Love his teacher, love the school, love the whole staff. This summer, he has been on fire and is so, so ready to rock kindergarten.

I might suddenly be a *small* mess.

Five years and nine months ago, my baby couldn't breath on his own. He didn't talk until he was three and a half. He cried the first four months of preschool.The whole mainstream kindergarten thing with no para? I didn't dare dream. It was moment to moment, sound to sound kinda of living.

Adam reminded George that if his new friends can't understand him, to ask the teacher and she will help. I didn't cry.

I didn't cry as we got out his new "kindergarten is cool" shirt. I didn't cry on meet the teacher night.

But when I got him out of the tub and rubbed lotion on his skin and over his funky belly button- funky because of the lines that went into it to save his life- I started to get all teary. I remembered the first time I gave him a gentle massage with hospital lotion. I remember his nurse watching me, his face scrunching as I gently rubbed him.

It's mild stones like this that remind how fragile his beginning (all of ours, really) was. It reminds me how damn lucky we are. He was- is- a late term preemie with significant speech problems. He needed three years of special education preschool. He still faces an uncertain speech/language/writing future. I don't know what it holds.

I do know this: He is damn lucky. WE are damn lucky. We live in a major metro area with a school that harkens back to the small town schools... but with all the bells and whistles of any high tech school. The staff is small, with 2-3 classes per grade. They know my kids. I know them. And every single person will go to bat for my children. I know this because they already have done so. His teacher already loves him and his preschool teacher is right down the corner.

George is strong and proud and determined. He's got a great team in his corner. He will rock this school.

When I get all teary, yeah, part of it is the "where did my BABY go?" emotions. Part of it is not believing he is this big. But the biggest part? Joy. Joy that he can go to a mainstream classroom. Joy that he is ready for this. Joy that he has so many people who love him.

So, yeah, I'm probably going to cry all over my friends tomorrow... but they will be happy tears.

Summer Reading List

(This post contains affliate links via Amazon. I get a small kick back if you purchase items via these links.)

Joseph, Camille and I have committed to read 10 books each this summer. I don't know about those little turkeys but I am working my way through several. (We have a bet going about who is going to read the most. So far, I am winning! HA!) Some of my top favorites have been:

The Fault in Our Stars:  I was ambivalent about reading this book but I ended up loving it. As I said on a friend's Facebook wall, "Anyway, I was also impressed with the length of the book. It could have easily been much longer but it was short. It has enough of what we need to know and no more but the characters are incredibly complex. Even their parents, who are minor characters, are pretty well rounded. I have (thank you, God, no hints!) ZERO experience with childhood cancer (and would like to keep it that way, thankyouverymuch) but it seems like it is a fairly realistic portrayal. 
Someone commented (on Amazon, so not the be all and end all of reviews) that they felt the dialogue was "fake" and not realistic of teenagers. I felt the dialogue fit the characters perfectly. It's in line with their personalities and life experiences. Plus, I have read so many stories with very bad, horrible, no good, terrible dialogue that it was AWESOME to read something that is INTELLIGENT."

Rhett Butler's People- The only official sequel to Gone With the Wind, as approved by Margaret Mitchell's estate. (I'm looking at you, Scarlett.) The novel tells the story of GWTW from Rhett's (third-person) point of view. His background, and his relationship with Belle Watling, is explained. Not only do you learn more about Rhett but the author delves into the mind of Melanie Wilkes too. Scarlett fans, be warned- she's not really in the book much! Much like Rhett pops in and out of GWTW, she pops in and out of this book. Events that are fairly major in the original novel, such as the death of Bonnie, are glossed over in this book. That's not to say they aren't there- they are- but since the readers know what happened, it's just mentioned in passing. It doesn't distract from the novel but rather gives space over to events the reader might have wondered about.

A novel about Mammy is rumored to come out this fall and I am looking forward to it!

The Kane Chronicles- Joseph received The Red Pyramid for his birthday and when he finished it, I stole it. To be honest, I like the Percy Jackson series and the Heroes of Olympus books better but that's not stopping us from devouring the story of Carter and Sadie Kane. Side note: Joseph and I want a hellhound and now a cat named either Bast or Muffin. I wouldn't be opposed to an albino crocodile either. 

Something Other Than God- The conversion story of atheist turned Catholic Jennifer F of Conversion Diary fame. The majority of the book focuses on her study of Catholicism and how her very scientific and logical mind came to accept and believe in God. It's not a heavy or deep in that it won't take a theology degree to understand anything. She explain why she/we believe what she do and how she came to God.Ir's not preachy at all and  I think people of all faiths would enjoy her journey of discovery.

The Selection- The back of the book puts it perfectly, "It's the Hunger Games meets the Bachelor with the bloodshed" (on both parts). Both The Selection and The Elite are light reads but they do suck you in! I want credit for having read the first two and NOT running out the next day to grab The One. Is it as good as The Hunger Games? Uh, no. But for a dystopian fairy tale it's pretty awesome.

What's up next? I have The Book Thief on my nightstand. I was saving it for our trip this summer but, you know, it called to me. I'm definatly buying The One. After that, I'm not sure! Any suggestions? 

Support group for people who know me

I "ran into" a former professor on Facebook. He and his wife taught young adult literature classes to future educators and I took several classes from them. I loved the classes and got along well with the professors, so I sent them a friend request. This means I am now Facebook friends with several of my former English/literature teachers.

I feel like I should introduce them so they can form a support group. Heh. I was a smarmy, smart aleck. Heck, I am STILL a snarky person but at least I've learned to keep my mouth shut. Mostly.

Quick Takes Friday: The end of the school year

1. This week I had to drive to four different drug stores and call three others to see if they have a medication one of my children needs. It seems like a first world problem, as this medication is not necessary to life but it is to our quality of life. I kinda felt like a drug addict going to all these places, asking if they had the medication in stock. Thankfully, everyone was super nice and I received wonderful customer service. In a stroke of luck, our Wal Mart has the medication so I don't have to drive to another town like I did last time.
2. I'm being a suburban rebel again and hanging most of our laundry out to dry. I love seeing our clothes on a line, flapping in the breeze. Not only does it keep the house a touch cooler but I think sun and wind help with the "funk" our towels can sometimes hang onto and the "tween boy smell."
   I did promise Adam and the kids that I would not line dry his work clothes, socks or underwear. I also don't dry most kitchen towels in the sun, simply because they take up space on our one clothes line. I might start having the little boys drape the towels over the railings on the porch this summer, though. It seems like a good chore for a four and five year old.
3. School is out today at 11:15. We're kicking off summer with a bang! We are going to party it up with some friends and then Camille has a belt test at night.  The boys have their first t-ball game Saturday and we have our pool opening party that night.
4. I prepared for the summer by stocking up on food. My friend hashtags posts like this as "it's a feed them fund, not a college fund." Heh. She's right. Kids can EAT.
5. I may or may not have bribed the children into doing school work over the summer with a trip to a local water park. Is it wrong that I fit their education in with exercise? Maybe?
6. Speaking of reading, Joseph, Camille and I are going to read 10 books each this summer. So far, I am beating them, as I already finished "Something Other Than God." Joe is in the middle of reading a book about Greek myths. Camille hasn't found one she wants to read yet.
7. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers this weekend, as I am heading to a nursing home to bring them Communion. I am terrified I will do or say something wrong!

Head over to Jen's at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes!

Peace and Quiet

As a final gift to me before the summer insanity starts, both boys are in preschool at the same time. They have a kiddie concert today, which means both AM and PM are attending school at the same time.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?! All FOUR of my kids are in school AT THE SAME TIME.

I am sitting in my kitchen. It's not even ten thirty and I have:
swept and vacuumed the kitchen
vacuumed the whole downstairs
took a script into the drug store
had coffee
had breakfast
hung a load of laundry out to dry

and now I am writing and there's still enough time to take stuff to the basement, fold another load and maybe even vacuum the bedrooms!

My life is so exciting... but I can do all this knowing that no one is going to fight with someone, spill something on the computer, destroy the living room or whatever.

PEACE AND QUIET, BABY.

Quick Takes Friday: Summer is almost here

1. George had his preschool graduation this week. Adam and I are so not "graduation ceremonies for ALL THE GRADES" type people but this one is special for George. He's leaving the safety of the preschool where he has been for three years for the wilds of kindergarten. I know and trust and adore the kindergarten teachers but... sniff.

When I think back to where he was and where he is now... wow. At his first program for preschool (Christmas 2011) he sat there and refused to sing. He wouldn't do the hand movements. He cried when I came. This time, he sang with his class, talked out of turn, danced and had a great time. In short, he acted like a ... normal?... five year old. Whoa.

2. If I thought April was a busy month for us, it has nothing on May. There are end of the year forms to fill out, fees to pay. I need to make sure everyone is enrolled for school in the fall. I'm checking shoes and buying sneakers. (Thank you, Zulily, for having the one thing I can't get as hand-me-downs for cheap!) The kids are signed up for various camps and I need to pay for VBS. Oh, and do I have end of the year teacher gifts? (No. No I do not.)

3. Cole: Mommy, I want pop-scile.
Me: You can have a Popsicle after school, buddy.
Cole: But my school over!

He had a point and his school was indeed over for the day... so he got a Popsicle.

4. Adam and I went to a baseball game Tuesday. His work provided free tickets, loaded with x amount of money for food. I go to games for the food and to hang out with Adam. I also refuse to go during the summer. I like baseball well enough but not enough to sit in hot stands and swelter. We had nachos and hamburgers and all sorts of goodies. A nice man who was in town for a conference sat behind us and we talked about kids, IEPs, the difference between where we live and Southern accents. The guy lives in the one place where we would move to if Adam changed jobs within his field. I really hope he wasn't put in our lives because God is planning for us to move!

5. The kids have a three day weekend and then 3.5 days of school.  No, it doesn't make sense.

6. I am looking forward to the long weekend. We're getting into a good swing around here. Adam has some car and yard work to do. We're headed to a friends house for dinner one night. It reminded me that we may be able to try and entertain again. We like to have friends over but the kids have prevented that. Maybe I have the guts to try?

7. Let's Surf, shall we?
10 Things Moms of Boys Must Do- Read this if you have a male in your life. It's awesome and so true!

As Long as It's Healthy...- Let's not make health a condition of loving someone. I would also like to add that just because you have a baby without any additional needs at birth doesn't mean it will stay that way. It's a fallible world. Kids get sick, they get cancer, they have delays and disorders. I don't love my kids any less because they have additional needs. Would you? No? Then why your fetus?

What is Apraxia and Why Should You Care?- One of the best articles I have read on CAS.

It's the end of an era (as we know it)

During Mass last week, Cole was being a twerp and I ended up taking him to the cry room. It was filled with toddlers in diapers, digging through snack traps and binkies hitting the floor. In short, it was a cry room... and I realized we didn't belong there anymore. We are at a different phase in our life.

I think many parents go through this and various points in their parenting journey. You wake up one day and realize that you are done with a certain phase in your life- breastfeeding, toddlers, preschool, elementary school. The most noticeable is probably when children go off to college and parents struggle with the empty nest but there are phases before that... and we are in one now.

George is entering his last week of preschool. I am not a "graduations for every little mildstone!" person but this is kinda big for him. I sent a non-verbal, anxious 2 year old to them in the fall of 2010 and received a confident chatterbox in return. The school has worked hard with my little boy. Thankfully, the special needs preschool is attached to the elementary school, so they will see him next year too. But I'm loosing a preschooler and getting an elementary boy in return.

Next year will make the last year I have all four children in one school. Joseph will be in the fifth grade and moving to junior high. It blows my mind. First, how is he old enough? Second, how am I old enough? I'm a bit in awe that he will have been in the same school since kindergarten. As a military brat, I never had that. I wouldn't change my up bringing for the world but there's something to be said for having the same close group of friends for the first 10-11 years of your life.

Diapers are gone. Sippy cups are a thing of the past. Instead we have clets and TKD belt littering the floor, and children who leave cups around the computer. Laundry is filled with towels and stinky gear from baseball, not clothes with spit up. Instead of watching Mickey Mouse, I talk about poltical systems, compare the Greek underworld to Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. They drink coffee (or, er, coffee flavored milk) and the whole boy/girl thing is slowly creeping on their radar.

When Joseph and Camille were four (four and two and four and six), Star Wars, Doctor Who and tweeny stuff weren't on their radar. They are the oldest and they set the tone for alot of things including, to a degree, what their siblings are interested in. That's not to say that Cole and George are "too mature" for their ages. It's just that they have older siblings who chat about stuff other four year olds might not know about. (I doubt many of them go into preschool grumping that they "had" to watch Percy Jackson...)

Instead of dealing with nap time and nursing, I have mood swings, hormones, preschool phases, friendship up and downs and summer camp. I also have epic conversations, jokes that aren't about poop, deep thoughts, and homework beyond colors and shapes. Like many things in life, parenting is fluid and ever-changing and the way our family looks is changing too. Yep, there are things I miss about our baby days but I also wouldn't change this parenting phase for anything.

Quick Takes Friday: Boom and Book and baby horsies

1. Want to know how to blow your four year old's mind? Make sure he is obsessed with Monster Trucks and then take him to see a REAL "car boom" and its driver. A new tire store is opening near us and for their grand opening, they have bounce houses and a real monster truck that will crush cars. Between the Strom Troopers and this, I think we have made Cole's month.

2. The end of the school year is approaching which means Adam and I are slacking off as parents. In the middle of all the concerts and tournaments, we keep forgetting to check homework folders. Sigh.

3. Remember the rustic cross cake? Yeah, I failed on Joe's birthday cake too! I can make a decent cake- like the blocks for Cole's first birthday or all those cake molds over the years. All Joe wanted was a simple round cake with M and M's in the middle, so when you cut into it, the M and Ms would spill out. First, the cake didn't want to come out of the pan. Then it didn't want to be frosted and completely collapsed. I joked that, given our penchant for Percy Jackson stories, I should just say that it is a Camp Half-Blood cake and Tyson the Cyclopes sat on it.

4. Thankfully, a friend came to the rescue and made an awesome cake with a Jayhawk on it. It looks perfect and Joe loves it. The sat-on cake went with Adam to work.

5. I have spent way too much time this week staring at a horse's butt. A friend posted a link to Stormy Watch and I have been checking the webcam for updates. Before I was born, my parents bred a friends' horse, and we all rode at one point in our lives, so I know a little about horses. My mom is now hooked too and we've been chatting about Stormy and her impending baby.

6. Tonight I should have three extra ten year old boys in my house. This is why I am doing laundry but not mopping.

7. Speaking of books, Joseph, Camille and I have vowed to read ten books each this summer. I am keeping track of my 2014 reads on Goodreads but we'll have an ongoing list on the wall for our summer reading. I'm almost done with the Heroes of Olympus seris and Joe needs to start it. After that, I have a stack on my nightstand but Joe needs a seris to read. Any bets that I can get him hooked to Harry Potter???

Love Won.

Joseph wasn't very old when people began asking where we would send him to school. At the time, I was more concerned with learning to parent than thinking about preschool or kindergarten but they persisted. Since I hung out with the conservative Catholics (as I am one) and the hippies (as I am one) two options were presented to me:

Catholic school
Homeschool

Now, both options are good and decent and right for some families. However, I was told over and over and over that the ONLY way to raise faithful Catholic children is to put them in Catholic school or homeschool them. Never mind that our public schools are award winning. Never mind that faith formation begins in the home and no matter how nice the Catholic school is, if you aren't living it at home... well...

In the end, we moved from that parish to a new one that is tithing based. If you tithe your ten percent, your kids can attend the school. In spite of the nice, small public school two blocks away, we looked into the Catholic school. There was a wait list for kindergarten and a down payment to be placed on the list. If he didn't get it, we wouldn't get our money back. Our priest and the office staff were very encouraging that we would make the best choice for our family, reassuring us that our children would receive a great faith formation either in the school or the RE program. Because we couldn't afford to lose the down payment money, we enrolled Joseph in the public school. 

I still hear about this choice, not from the priests so much but that other parents. They ignore the fact that my two boys need an SLP, PT and OT full time, on staff. They ignore the fact that my oldest would have been kicked out of a private school. They ignore the hundreds of dollars in therapy bills we have each month. They ignore the tight food budget, the menu planning, the things we do without to afford the therapy my kids so desperately need. No, if we gave up more, we could tithe and send our kids to the school. If we REALLY REALLY REALLY cared about their immortal souls, we would do anything to send them to the Catholic schools because how else would they grow up to be faithful Catholics if they aren't surrounded by them 24/7? There's no way those "government" schools can nurture these precocious gems.

And you know what? No, my kids aren't studying the canonizations of four popes in school. No one will lead them in a Rosary over lunch and they won't study the lives of saints. They don't go to Mass multiple times a week unless I pull them from school to attend and winter parties aren't Christmas parties. So, no, they aren't getting a Catholic education in the public schools. At least, it's not direct.

Recently, the community was hit with two tragedies. A young man was critical hurt in a swimming accident. This high school senior was pulled under by the waves and damaged his spinal cord. His mother was my sons para and they attend our parish. Both mother and son are in another state as the son undergoes rehab and the mom helps him.

On Palm Sunday, there was a shooting at our Jewish Community Center. Three people were killed, including a high school freshmen and his grandfather. It was a horrible, senseless act, a hate crime.

I feel for our community, especially the young people of our high school. In the past six weeks, they've had to deal with media attention and ask questions that no one wants to ask. But instead of wallowing, you know what they've done? They've surrounded these families with love. The students put on a carnival for the young man who was hurt and raised $22,000. That's dollars, people, dollars! Our school, where the mom worked, is raising money at our own carnival for him, and a teacher and I are working on organizing a garage sale to benefit the family. The parish RE program and the school have card drives going so that this young man will receive cards every day.

The freshman and his grandfather? My kids told me that alot of their teachers took time off to attend his funeral. Staff members helped provide food for the funeral. Because our elementary school is close to the high school, the young children saw the media trucks. The staff went above and beyond to make sure the kids were safe, questions were answered in an age appropriate manner. The principal and superintendent sent out e-mails, telling the parents what was going on and how it was being handled. Everything was done in a gentle, loving manner.

Shortly before the funeral. word came around that Westboro Baptist was going to protest the funeral. What did our community do? Students- not just the students from our high school but schools all over the district- lined the streets surrounding the church with signs that said "Love wins." Motorcycle riders were there, holding similar signs. Westboro was regulated to a small corner, out of the way, and I don't think the family saw them.

Love wins.

What a powerful message, held up by the young people of my community. I don't know if they are Catholic, Protestant, Jewish or atheist. All I know is that they held the powerful, loving message in their hands that day: Love wins. In their actions, they showed the message- Love wins. In raising money, donating to causes, hosting the carnival, they are living, acting out Christ's greatest commandment, "Love one another as I have loved you."

Love wins. 

No, no my children don't attend Catholic school.Instead, they are shown the example of Christ's love for us and how to carry it out on earth. They are surrounded by adults who will do anything to help them succeed. They are surrounded by people of all ages who, without a second thought, give and give and give some more to those in need. They do all this out of the goodness of their hearts, without calling attention to themselves. Even in these "soulless government schools" my children are surrounded by Christ-like people, living the way Christ calls us to live. There isn't a better example of "love and faith in action" than what these public school teachers and students have shown us over the past six weeks. They are, indeed, surrounded by people who will continue to help them grow into loving, faithful (dare I say it?) Catholic young adults.

Love wins . . . indeed.

Every IEP is a little Lent

I'm sitting here, at the kitchen table, listening to Cole tell me how he hates pumpkin bread. He's speaking

Every IEP is a little Lent . . . and every
mild stone met a little Easter.

with a whine in his voice, indicating that he's tired. I know that once I pop him in the car this afternoon, he will fall right asleep... which is a problem, since it is his first day of speech therapy with our private SLP.

Today is also the day I got the rough draft for Cole's IEP. For me, it's more of a formality. I speak to the teachers and SLP on a regular basis, so none of the goals are particularly surprising. It's just so hard to see, in black and white, in clinical terms, how far behind my sweet bear is. In black and white, it tells me that my almost four year old speaks like a two year old. In black and white, it tells me that he is 80 per cent intelligible . . . if you know him and know the context. Most people cannot understand him at all.

In black and white, it says over and over and over again, "Motor planning is impacting him from . . ." and "Due to poor motor planning, he cannot . . ." He cannot speak. He cannot draw. He cannot color.

I know this. I knew this. But seeing it again was like a punch in my already-bruised stomach.

And then, it dawned on me. This is Lent. This IEP, this is our Lent.

We're at the beginning of Lent now. Cole's been examine and tested, just like we examine and test ourselves at the beginning of every Lent. Where is he strong? Let's keep on doing those awesome, strong things. Where is he weak? Where does he need to improve? Let's make measurable goals and work on those weak areas.

When Lent begins, we work on those areas in which we are weak. We give up our vices, add in more prayer. We sacrifice and offer up. At the end of all of this, at Easter, we hope to come out stronger, with good habits that have replaced the old. Less coffee, less sugar, less junk food; more prayer, more giving, more offering up.

During this IEP, we've set goals. We know the end result we want: a child who can draw and write and speak. During this Lent, we will work on those goals, praying and sacrificing (retirement fund? Who needs that?!) to get to them. When Cole can speak, write and draw, when he is able to funcation with his same age peers, we will have arrived at Easter.

But you know the awesome thing? Remember how every Sunday is a little Easter, a little time to remember and rejoice in the salvation of Christ? Every mild stone he reaches, every step forward he makes, is our little Sunday. It's our little Easter, a time to rejoice that all his hard work is paying off. When I hear him count, see him try to color or say a hard word correctly, we rejoice. We celebrate.

Because even in Lent, we have a little Easter.

School

I began this post two days ago. Shows how much time I have to sit alone and type!

Stuff's been happening but there's really nothing to write about. It warmed up to 30 degrees today and I felt awesome walking around without a coat, tramping through the snow in my boots. (Although the coat thing isn't new. I don't like wearing one.)

Wednesday I was Selfish Mommy and went to the gym. A friend and I swap baby sitting and Wends are her day to take George. I missed Cole's Valentine's Day party. I normally go up and take George. I suppose I could have worked out at home, and then gone to his party alone. But I didn't. I went to the gym and took a shower after. I patted myself on the back for taking care of ME, something I hardly ever do.

Then when I picked up Cole, I saw I was the only mother who didn't come up. No, really. The only other mothers who were not there were the ones who worked. Sigh.Talk about guilt!

I paid for Selfish Mommy too. The house was a disaster and Cole was flying high from the sugar. He also hasn't been sleeping and was super whiney. He was laying his head down and crying. I couldn't put him down for a nap, though, since Joe had an appointment. Cole fell asleep on the way to school and until we reached the doctor's. Of course he wanted to be carried and I had to lug him up a flight of stairs, questioning why I bothered to go to the gym!

Part of our problem today was that Cole was asking for something and I had no idea what it was! At our conference today, the SLP said kids with Apraxia often loose intelligibility as they gain speech.He is certainly doing that. Since he might not qualify for speech this summer, I will need to get him into private speech. Sigh.

Anyway, back to school. Cole whined "me go home" the entire hour and 15 minutes we were up there! Considering the whine-fest began at one, the whole "me go home" whine lasted for two frikkin hours. I mean, really? Sigh.

On Thursday I was supposed to go up to school for a kindergarten parent meeting. It was at nine am on a day off from school. What are we supposed to do with our kids? And Cole had a nasty cough, so I didn't want to bring him up anyway. It was frustrating but, thankfully, the staff knows me and I just went up, handed in my paperwork and picked up what I needed. The good news is that since he attends this school for preschool, most of his paperwork is already on file! I need to update any vaccinations he has received but, other than that, I think he's good to go!

We have the option for full or half day in the district. However, our state does not pay for full day and thus the parents must make up the difference at $15/day. For people that need day care (SCHOOL IS NOT DAY CARE) this is a bargain. For those of us who pay out the nose for therapies every week, this is an added expense we can not have. George will be going to half day and I am okay with this, since I know and like the half day teacher. I actually know and like the full day teacher too and she was excited, asking me if George will be in her class. That made my heart melt. I'm so, so pleased with the teachers at our school. They really do an awesome job with all my kids.

(I suspect they want George in their classes because they have not seen the super anal worried side of me that comes with George. He's leaving the nice secure special education classroom and going in with the wolves, who may or may not understand him.I have a few more months to prep the half day teacher. Heh. I did tell the principal that if this teacher is not teaching kindy next year, I will cry big ugly tears, have a fit and picket the school. The principal laughed, like I was kidding.)

Camille's teacher had nothing but glowing things to report. She's getting A's in math and her concentration has greatly improved! I think she's gaining a little weight back too, which is nice. The best part is that she is learning skills that are carrying over to when she is NOT on medication. That's great!

Joe had five people at his conference and we joked he was quite the popular young man, to have all those lovely women talking about him. He blushed! He has several student teachers, which is why so many people were there. He too is doing well and is undergoing testing for the gifted program. I'm twitching at the thought of all four kids on IEPs. I didn't want my children to have special needs, gifted or otherwise. I wanted boring, normal children who when you walk into conferences, the teacher says, "Your child is a delight to have in the classroom! Their grades are great, they are polite, well mannered and have friends. Send me 20 more like them!" I'm not looking to raise a genius child or four (trust me, no. It's a whole 'nuther post). I just want neuro typical!

But what are ya going to do aside from advocate for them, help them figure out the world and feed 'em fish oil to promote brain development?

Okay, complaining aside, the tone of the conferences was positive overall and we are all moving in the right direction for the kids. I am thankful every day we landed in this neighborhood with this school that is fully equipped to meet the needs of my kids and is devoted to doing so. When I read stories about other districts, even ones close to our home, where the teachers do no follow IEPs, do not use best practices, aren't flexible and so on, I am so glad we have this school. Even with all the worrying I do about the children and their future, I can happily send them off to school each day knowing they are well cared for and loved.

Wordless Wednesday at NPN

Get a sneak peak at my daughter's covered wagon project on NPN!

(Every year, the second grade students create a covered wagon out of whatever materials they like and then write up the steps they used to create the project. I love this project and seeing what the other students have made is so fun! Obviously, they don't have to historically accurate!

And, yes, I know it is Thursday.)

Hope, Continued: And the Universe Said...

Many of my friends pick a word as their "theme" for their new year. They want to be "mindful" or "prayful" or "in the moment" (okay, that's a phrase). As 2013 came to a close, all I could think was "Thank God it's over." I did come up with two things I wanted to focus on in 2014: PEACE and HEALING. This week, I added another: HOPE.

See, for awhile now I've felt like the universe has been giving me a kick in the pants. We've had events in our personal lives that made me doubt anything good would happen. At church, I had several run ins with a woman I have dubbed The Crazy Church Lady that left me with anxiety every time I walked into the church. Would she be there? Would she be judging? Would the other people in the pews?

Then... a couple things happened. Father Youngin' told us he was in speech therapy as a kid. He said he understood why we can't use the parish school. (I cried! Someone who understands and doesn't judge!) The NICU Thanksgiving was written up in the local Catholic paper. As a result, the priests know us by name (not sure this is a good thing!). They've spoken to us about the work we do. And... we were written up the parish bulletin. We had NO IDEA the latter was coming. None. But... as a result... people now know why our family is like it is.We aren't the parents of undisciplined kids. Our son was a preemie. He has special needs. And we keep coming to Mass.

We've met several people who can't take their kids with special needs to Mass because they fear the judging. While I would like to say, "No one is judging you!" people do. They can. And I want Mass to be a judgement free zone.

Adam and I hate attention on ourselves for the work we do. Yet if it brings understanding to the issues at hand (premature babies, special needs) and helps people understand our family? Worth it.

Hope.

I have an idea running through my head, an idea that may, I hope, bring hope to others. Catholic parents of kids with special needs need support and love. We need ideas and tips and tricks to help our children understand our faith and make their sacraments. We need to know we are not alone. We need each other. We need hope.

I hope and I pray that PEACE and HOPE and HEALING will be the themes for this year. So far, it's like the universe said, "You've taken a beating over the past year. Here, here's a cookie. Let's make this better."

I hope.

Quick Takes Friday: Well, that's a start!

It's been a crazy start to 2014 but a GOOD crazy start!

1.

Last night, the phone rang as I was putting Cole to bed. Adam answered and it was Thirty-One, the direct sales company I work for. I've been promoted to Senior Consultant! That means that I have several people below me, they've all qualified (sold a certain amount) and are active. I still have to sell x amount of product in a certain time period but I get overrides. Go me! Go my team!

2.

Cole and George are refusing haircuts. REFUSING. Nothing will convince them to let me trim it, including, "If you don't cut your hair, we will have to wash it more often and put gel in it." Nope. The other day, Cole's curls were looking especially adorable and he was being onery. We've decided that his hair is like Samson's: it's his adorableness and keep us from selling him to the zoo!

3.

I finally got my watch fixed. FINALLY. After a year. Not complaining; I love it!

4.

Camille's 8th birthday is coming up. Eight. Holy moly, she's getting big! The "loose tooth" thing has slowed down and she now has more teeth IN her head than OUT. Her hair is getting long and her sense of style is... Camille. We're planning her birthday party this weekend. She wants a snowman themed party and I spill all the details shortly!

5.

My oldest has been giving us grief about homework lately. His teacher and I are working with him on it. I don't think he realizes that life would be so much simpler if he just did his work in school!

6.

I went to the post office before Christmas and have been dragging my feet about going back ever since then. Mailing packages is my least favorite activity ever! I think all post offices are located in the most inconvenient spots and strive to have the worst parking. They have less employees manning the desk than Wal-Mart during the post-school rush. It's so frustrating!

7. 

The kids have only missed one day of school this week. My friends a few hours away haven't had school at all this week! I imagine they are going insane!

Recipe: Dairy Free Hot Chocolate/Chocolate Milk Mix

Like most kids, my Herd loves hot chocolate. With George's new food allergies, though, that's one thing I've had to shelve because all of them contain milk. We were pretty bummed and I didn't have time to make my normal chocolate syrup for milks.

With teacher gifts coming up AND the desire for hot coco, I began searching Pinterest for hot chocolate mixes. However, again, many of them have (ready for this?) non-dairy creamer or dry milk in them! I mean, really? Non-dairy creamer is a complete lie; it has dairy products in it. Plus, I never buy that or dry milk so I didn't have any leftover in the house. And, again, DAIRY IS A NO-NO NOW. So frustrating.

But I found that the recipes had some similar ingredients in common. Joe and I got out my super awesome food processor and came up with this recipe.

In the bowl of a food processor, place:

2 cups white sugar
1 cup powdered sugar

About 1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 cup coco powder

Slap on the lid and blitz until well blended. I find that this grinds the sugar up well and makes it more likely to dissolve.

After a few minutes, turn off and store in an airtight container. When you're ready to use it, add a few spoonfuls (about 1-2 tablespoons) to 8 ounces of hot liquid and stir well. Really, adding the powder to the liquid is a "to taste" thing.

This is excellent with these corn-free marshmallows!

For teacher gifts, I got small containers at the Dollar Store and filled them with the mix. In others, I put the homemade marshmallows. The teachers really loved them, especially when I told them the mix is excellent in coffee!

I have no idea how to do one of them fancy-smanchy files where you click on print and it open in a new window to print just the recipe. Here it is, without the pictures. Please feel free to print this recipe, Pin to Pinterest and so on, but if you put it on your blog, link back to me! Thank you!

Dairy Free Hot Chocolate Mix by WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door

2 cups white sugar

1 cup powered sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1 cup powered coco

Place all the ingredients in a food processor and blitz until well blended. Store in an air-tight container.

To use, add 1-2 tablespoons (or to taste) of the mix to 8 ounces of hot liquid and stir well. Works well in coffee too!

Because labels can be a good thing

There seems to be a debate going on as to whether or not people (especially children) should be slapped with a label: ADD/ADHD, Apraxia, CP, and so on. While I agree that people should not be ONLY their label and you should not be DEFINED by a label, I think labels are a good thing. Like with food labels, a well diagnosed, well placed label helps me understand what is inside the "package" (person) better. With a label, I can get help for my child.

In this case, yes, we have another label slapped on a kid in our house: ADD/ADHD, inattentive type.

Sigh.

I wasn't surprised. This kidlet has had problems at school that only increased as school work got harder. In many ways, this is a bit of a hard won label too: I had been asking teachers about this possibility since she was little, but got, "Well, she's making progress. She has friends. You're doing everything you can." When I specifically asked, "Should my kid be tested?" I got hemming and hawing.

 It turns out that the tides have turned since I was getting my degree. Back then, we couldn't say to a parent, "Look, I've been teaching a darn long time and your kid is bouncing off the walls and can't pay attention to a tap dancing elephant if it was standing on his face. Get 'em tested for ADD." Why? Well, for one thing, ADD/ADHD is a medical diagnosis. It means something in a person's brain is wired funny. That diagnosis should be made by medical professionals WITH the input of the parents and teacher. For another, if a teacher even hints at "your kid needs this to succeed at school" then the district could be sued to cover the costs of testing or medication. We live in a very law suit happy area.

It's even worse now. I now completely understand why I felt like teachers were trying to shove me out of the room during conferences! They are not allowed to breathe or hint of "your kid might have a problem" even when the parents says, "Look. I get where you are coming from. I do. But something is wrong with my kid and I can't help her unless you give me a direction in which to go. Help me help her!"

It is so, so frustrating. We don't have the money to have anyone tested willy-nilly. I'm not the type of parent who thinks her little darling is a spesual snowflake who never, ever does anything wrong and of course it must be a problem with the school/government/weather/gluten/whatever. Dude, I have two kids on IEPs already! I admitted her father and myself have or had an ADD diagnosis. I told them that many family members are dyslexic. Her BROTHERS have a neurological disorder. All I got was, "Hem. Haw."

I don't blame the school or the teachers. Their hands are tied because someone else decided to abuse the system. Sadly, it made it all the harder for me to figure out how to help my child.

Anyway, I finally e-mailed the teacher and bluntly told her our concerns. Enough red flags were raised that I said, "Screw this" and made an appointment with our doctor. After he and teacher exchanged information, we got a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD and a recommendation to begin medication.

I am not opposed to medication. I myself take medication, although not for this. Before I put her on it, I wanted to make sure we had done everything possible for her- healthy fats, fish oils, protein, positive redirection, all that jazz. And you know what? We were. The school is. This is what is left.

We started right after Thanksgiving, in order to monitor her at home for possible reactions. I myself wanted to see if this worked for her.

You know what? It does. I still have my daughter but it was like a veil has been lifted. It was almost like she was looking at the world through a film and the film is gone, allowing her to function in a clearer manner. When she's on the medication, she's not as whiney and speaks in a normal seven year old voice, rather than this grating baby voice she has. I took her to the fabric store with me and she stayed by my side instead of wandering everywhere and touching everything. I had a conversation with her and I felt like she was listening and really thinking about choices when we went to a clothing store. She seems to fight less with her brothers.

I'm writing this Sunday night. The REAL test will be this coming week at school. She has to take it at lunch and I need to get unbiased reports from her teacher as to how she is doing at school. I am not expecting miracles but I hoping that, without the fog surrounding her brain, she will be able to focus, study and learn and catch up to her peers.

One can hope, right?