- Just kidding. I'm not drunk. Not that you would know it by the half empty bottle of two buck chuck and the IM conversation with my cousin. But hey! Before you judge, I'm writing this at 9 pm Thursday night. It's after five pm!
- No, I am not drunk. But, damn, I should be. I haven't been this upset since George was a baby. Aside from the hideous VBS week, Cole tried to drown himself at the pool. He was wanting me to go to the far side of the pool to make him a "bed" on the lawn chair. (He wanted the towel down on the chair to lay out like the teenagers!) I said no since I was talking and he walked off. Two seconds later I turned around and said, "Where's Cole?"
Now, I have no idea why I turned around when I did. Prompting from the Holy Spirit? Mother's instinct? No clue, but I didn't see him and started running to the pool. I just knew where to go and I saw him under the water, struggling to get to the top. I can still see the white beach towel out behind him, one little hand still holding it. I grabbed his arm and hauled him out of the water. He started coughing and gagging and I said things like, "Cough it up, Bear. You are such a brave boy to try and swim to the top. Did you see fish in the pool?" He didn't cry but he freaked me and my friend out.
- Believe it or not, I didn't cry which is why my bursting into tears in front of one of our parish employees is so notable. Yes, I did. I just got sick and tired of people literally being in my face and aggressive about how I was helping George. I got tired of people chirping, "I know how you feel! My son was attached too!" and me wanting to scream, "IT'S MORE THAN THAT!" I finally told her that I come to Mass not for the people or the fellowship but for the Eucharist. No more, no less. May that be a wake up call to the parish and how people like my son are viewed.
- Did I also mention that they literally took my son from my arms, crying, as I was protesting? Hello, trigger much?
- After I wrote my post on Wends, I took George to speech with the SLP in the school district. He has seen her nearly every day for two years. As they walked back to the room to work, I could hear him scream, "Mommy, don't leave me!" When they came out, she told me it would be best to pull him from VBS because we were both seeing anxiety behaviors we hadn't seen in years. YEARS. Thankfully, she doesn't think we need to see a doctor for it. But MY BABY, Anxiety is hard enough for adults and this is my BABY.
(Anxiety in new situation is somewhat normal for Apraxic kids. Yay!)
- My goal this week is to not punch the church employee who took George from my arms. How's that for a good goal?
- Camille loves VBS but Joseph is still luke-warm about it. I am wondering if I will send him next year. That year, he will be in the junior high group (!!!!) so it might interest him more. If not, I think I will look into Totus Tuus for him. Or call it a wash and figure he's just not a VBS type kid.