His Voice

written Feb 28, 2012 and saved for the carnival.

Today held one of those moments that will forever be burned into my brain.
It was an usually warm Midwestern winter day. The car read 55-plus degrees and it was sunny and bright but we still drove to pick Georgie up from preschool. I half hoped Cole would fall asleep in the car on the way there; he had been fussy and into everything all morning.

George ran up to me, smiling, saying, “MAMA!” in his loud voice. His teachers told me he had a great day and he ran through the strong breeze to the car. Standing on the sidewalk, he pointed excited to the tires. Jabbering on, he explained, through a language we have dubbed “Preschool Mime” how Daddy had lifted the car up to change a tire. I laughed at the way he held his arms like a forklift and beeped and hummed to show me what he wanted to say. Laughing, I grabbed him into my arms and counted, “One, two, three, UP!” and he said “UH!”

“Uh-PUH!” I said, forcing the “puh” sound out of my mouth.

“PUH!” he said laughing and I hoisted him into the arm and into his car seat.

Suddenly, his mood shifted and he pointed to the seat in front of him, saying, “Ma!”

“You want a book?” I guessed.

“No!”

“A train? A dinosaur book? Baby Brother’s cup?” Each guess was met with a “NO!” and a more emphatic point to the front seat. Finally, it dawned on me. “Oh! You need a snack!”

“Uh-huh!” he nodded. I asked him if he could wait and he scowled and said no. I glanced at the clock.

“Well, if we hurry we can run home and get so fruit leather before we have to pick up Sister.” He nodded and grinned. I carefully pulled out of the car pool lane as he began to jabber on in Preschool Mime about the tire.

“Daddy fixed the tire?” A nod. “Did it have an ow?” A nod again. “Did the car get an ow?”

Then it happened. In the middle of our neighborhood, right by our friend’s house, in the shade of one of her large trees IT happened. As the sky pierced blue and the sun shone into my eyes, my child, at three years and three months said, “Uh-huh. Car. Get. Ow.”

I nearly slammed on the brakes and gave myself whiplash as I spun in my seat and said. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

Georgie looked a wee bit frightened. “Car. Get. Owe.” Each word was clear, distinct and carefully pronounced, said in a voice I rarely hear: his normal, not Apraxic voice.

And there, sitting in my crumb filled mini-van in the middle of a quiet street in our neighborhood, I cried. “George! You did it! You said your first sentence! Good for you! You did it!”

It’s not abnormal for children, at the age of three years and three months, to tell stories about events that happen to them. It’s even more normal for them to chatter on and on about something they love. And the sentence “car get ow” could even be considered (dare I say it?) a bit baby-ish for a three year old. But for my son, a child who knows just what he wants to say but cannot send the message from his brain to his mouth to make the sounds, that simple sentence was huge.

A year ago, George was just beginning to make eye contact with strangers, like a store clerk, who tried to engage him. His language was made up almost entirely of the phrase “uh duh duh” and gestures. He had no signs and no word for “Mommy.” He hated to leave my husband or myself because we were his safe people, one of a handful of people on the planet who understood him and what he wanted. A year ago, my son was locked inside himself and we were desperately trying to find him the help he needed.

Now, his vocabulary has grown. He calls me “ma” or “mama” or even “mom” if he is particularly upset with me. He makes noises when he plays and tries to tell me stories. He signs and is trying two word phrases, even if those “words” are just jargon. His jargon itself has changed. He runs off to school- not every time, but he will increasingly leave me without a fuss. He says “no” and can communicate most of his needs to us and to people outside the family. He has gone to two different speech therapists and partaken in a variety of “alternative” therapies (cranial work, hippotherapy and fish oil supplements). He has worked. He has worked hard on something that comes easily to most of us- speech.

I do not know if, tomorrow, he will be able to say the words “car” or “get.” (“Ow” is already a word that he uses frequently.) I do not know if I will continue to hear three word phrases from him. Childhood Apraxia of Speech is funny in that way; one day, he will burst out difficult words like “grandpa” and we may never hear from them again. Other times, he will say something (like “egg”) and the word will hang around.

What I do know is that the phrase “car get ow” uttered on a warm, sunny winter’s day is the most magical phrase I have ever heard. He didn’t just tell me that the car had an ow, he told me that over 18 months of hard, solid work on his part, countless phone calls on mine, many tears, many frustrations and many more triumphs were worth it. He is talking, he will talk, he will have a voice. And it will be his own.

For more information about Childhood Apraxia of Speech, please visit many of the blogs under "This is the way we (blog) roll," click on the "About Apraxia of Speech" in my sidebar or visit "Apraxia-Kids." You can also visit the American Speech, Hearing and Language Assosiation for more information about all speech, hearing and language disorders. (CAS is here.)


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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 13 with all the carnival links.)

• Parenting A Child With Neutropenia — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses the challenge of parenting a young child who cannot produce enough neutrophils to fight off bacterial infections.
• How I Love My High Need Baby — Shannon at GrowingSlower was shocked to find she is parenting a high-needs baby, but she's surviving thanks to attachment parenting.
• We're a Lot Like You — kaidera at Our Little Acorn talks about how her family is similar to others, even with all their special needs
• The Emotional Components of Bonding with Preemies — Having a premature baby can bring on many unexpected emotions for parents, but working through those emotions can bring about a wonderful bonding experience. Adrienne at Natural Parents Network shares.
• Raising a babe with IUGR: from birth through the toddler years — Rachel at Lautaret Bohemiet shares the story of how her son’s post-birth IUGR diagnosis affected his first days of life and gave her an unexpected tutorial in advocating for their rights as a family.
• When a grandparent has a disability — Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes shares how she has approached explaining her mother's disability to her young child.
• Taking The Time To Really See Our Children — Sam at Love Parenting writes about her experiences working with children with various disabilities and how it has affected her parenting style.
• Natural Parenting In An Unnatural Environment — Julie at What I Would Tell You gives us a glimpse into how she improvised to be a natural parent against all odds.
• Getting Through the NICU — Laura at Authentic Parenting gives a few pointers on how to deal with your newborn's stay in the NICU.
• Living With Sensory Processing Disorder — Christy at Adventures in Mommyhood talks about the challenges that can come from living with a child who has SPD.
• Our rules for NICU - March Carnival — Hannabert's Mom shares her family's rules for family and friends of a NICU baby.
• Letter from Mineral's Service Dog — Erika at Cinco de Mommy imagines the letter that accompanies her special needs son's Service Dog.
• Blessings in Unexpected Places — That Mama Gretchen welcomes an inspiring guest post from a dear friend who shares about the blessings that come from a child with Down syndrome.
• Tube Feeding with a Blenderized Diet of Whole Foods — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her experiences with using real food when feeding her daughter who was unable to feed herself and needed a feeding tube.
• Abbey and Evan — Amyables at Toddler In Tow writes about watching her preschooler play with her friend who is autistic and deaf, and wonders how she can explain his special needs better.
• How to Minimise the Chance of a {Genetically Prone} Child Being Diagnosed with ADHD — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares her tips on keeping a child who is genetically prone to ADHD from suffering the effects.
• Tough Decisions: Parenting With Special Needs — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares what has been keeping her up at night worrying, while spending her days discovering just what her options are for her precocious child.
• Life with my son — For Dr. Sarah at Good Enough Mum, life with an autistic child is just another variation on the parenting experience.
• Dear Special Needs Mama — Sylvia at MaMammalia writes a letter of encouragement to herself and other mamas of special needs children.
• His Voice — Laura at WaldenMommy relives the day her son said his first sentence.
• What is 'wrong' with you' The challenge of raising a spirited child — Tara at MUMmedia discusses the challenges of raising a child who is 'more' intense, stubborn, and strong willed than your average child.
• Tips for Parenting a Child With Special Medical Needs — Jorje of Momma Jorje shares her shortlist of tips she's learned in parenting a newborn with special medical needs in a guest post at Becoming Crunchy.
• Parenting the Perfectionist Child — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children discusses that as parents of gifted children, we are in the unique position to help them develop the positive aspects of their perfectionism.
• Montessori-Inspired Special Needs Support — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives a list of websites and blogs with Montessori-inspired special-needs information and activities.
• Accommodating Others' Food Allergies — Ever wonder how to handle another family's food allergies or whether you should just skip the play date altogether? At Code Name: Mama, Dionna's friend Kellie (whose family has a host of allergies) shares how grateful she is when friends welcome them, as well as a list of easy snacks you can consider.
• Only make promises you can keep — Growing up the child of a parent with a chronic illness left a lasting impact on Laura of A Pug in the Kitchen and what she is willing to promise for the future.
• A Mom and Her Son — Jen at Our Muddy Boots was fortunate to work with a wonderful family for several summers, seeing the mother of this autistic son be his advocate, but not in the ways she thought.
• Guest Post from Maya at Musings of A Marfan Mom — Zoie at TouchstoneZ is honored to share a guest post from Maya, who writes about effective tools she has found as a parent of two very special boys.
• You Don't Have to Be a Rock — Rachael at The Variegated Life finds steadiness in allowing herself to cry.
• When Special Needs Looks "Normal" — Amy at Anktangle writes about her experience with mothering a son who has Sensory Processing Disorder. She offers some tips (for strangers, friends, and loved ones) on how to best support a family dealing with this particular neurological challenge.
• Special Needs: Limitation or Liberation? — Melissa of White Noise describes the beauty in children with special needs.
• How I Learned It'll Be Okay — Ashley at Domestic Chaos reflects on what she learned while nannying for a boy with verbal delays.
• Attachment Parenting and Depression — Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses how attachment parenting has helped her get a clearer image of herself as a parent and of her depression.
• On invisible special needs & compassion — Lauren at Hobo Mama points out that even if we can't see a special need, it doesn't mean it's not there.
• Thoughts on Parenting Twins — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares her approach to parenting twins.
• ABCs of Breastfeeding in the NICU — Jona at Breastfeeding Twins offers tips for establishing breastfeeding in the alphabet soup of the NICU.
• Life With Michael - A Mother's Experience of Life With Aspergers Disorder — At Diary of a First Child, Luschka's sister-in-law Nicky shares her experience as mother to a child on the Autism Spectrum. It is filled with a mother's love and devotion to her child as an individual, not a label.
• Raised by a Special Needs Mom — Momma Jorje shares what it was like growing up as the daughter of a mother with a handicap.
• Becoming a Special Needs Mom — Ellen at These Broken Vases shares about becoming the mother of a child with Down syndrome
• She Said It Was "Vital" — Alicia of Lactation Narration (and My Baby Sweets) discusses the conflict she felt when trying to decide whether therapy was necessary for her daughter.