Friday, August 8, 2014

Who am I and what have I done with me?

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not a risk taker. I prefer my feet on the ground. I like things safe and predictable. I'm lazy and I don't do "hard." I don't put myself out there and I don't trust people easily. Oh, and you want to get together and talk about feelings and get all lovey-dovey? I don't do feelings... unless you are my therapist. Then, I do feelings but only because I'm paying you.

I'm not sure what the heck has happened to me but this has been the summer of risk taking. I finished my first novel, the first one I have finished in fifteen years, and sent it out to beta readers and an editor. Okay, yeah, she's a friend but she's a real, live editor and I am paying her real, live dead presidents to give me feedback. People. I do not do feedback for fear of rejection and people laughing at what I have written! I had enough of that growing up and I don't like it... but I've done it. (Granted, we're all adults and they won't laugh... but it's hard to remember that sometimes.)

I "networked" (the formal term- it's more likely that I made myself a pain in someone's behind) at church and with a local swim team. I went up to people and sold my skills, both as a catechist and as a swim teacher. The latter was a "cold e-mail" where I called a team about my daughter and ended up e-mailing them later that night, asking them to keep me in mind if a position was to open up. A position did and I interviewed for it on Friday before we left town. The result? I was offered a job coaching part of a (really, really big and well known) swim team. It's just a few hours now but the potential to move up is there. To work with this team, to perhaps coach some of their swimmers and learn under the coaches who send kids to the nationals and Olympic trials? I'd be stupid not to try!

We juuuuust got back from the Annual Trek Up North and took the kids to a kiddie amusement park. This year, three of the four are old enough to ride most of the rides and I encouraged them to try ones they may not like. George went down a water slide at the hotel. Joe went down the two story water slide at the park. Cami and I did the giant spinning swings. (My thoughts during the ride? "Trying new stuff is OVERRATED!" I don't like heights!)

So, big changes around here, both within the family and myself. Part of me doesn't know what is going on with me but part of me realizes that trying and failing is better than not trying at all. Plus, I've already experienced lots of hard things in the past five years, so sending out my book or "cold networking" with people is no-thing compared to, like, the NICU or all of 2013. As my therapist said, "If you're going to go down, you might as well go down epically!"

Here's to being EPIC!

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