Thursday, September 26, 2013

All good stories begin at Wal- Mart

Disclaimer: I am not making comments about the cashiers political opinions, beliefs, the morality of . . . anything . . . diabetic cats or the rising cost of health care and/or food. My point is to merely retell a story I find HILARIOUS in it's inappropriateness. Trust me, as my mother and sister will tell you, I love a good, respectful discussion on religion and politics. Just, um, not in the Wal-Mart check out line.

 I was at Wal Mart today picking up odds and ends. Joseph has been asking for a blue plastic tea cup like Uncle Si has on "Duck Dynasty." WM has lots of DD stuff, so I picked up a blue plastic cup for a stocking suffer for him. I mean, hey, when your kid asks for a two dollar object for Christmas, go with it, right?

The cashier picks up the cup to scan ...and says something about t-shirts. I said, "Oh, do you sell Duck Dynasty shirts? I didn't see them."

Cashier: No, they aren't allowing kids to wear those shirts at schools. They are banning them!

Me: Is this local? [thinking, I don't like where this conversation is going and all I want is to buy one damn plastic cup and 20 other items.]

Cashier: No. I heard it on the national news. Do you know the cost of healthcare is rising? It's all due to ObamaCare.

Me: [Oh, please, God no.]

Cashier: Those $3 medicines? DO you know what I am talking about?

Me: [wearily] Yes, a 30 day supply for a very low price.

Cashier: They have TRIPLED in price! 

 [Me]: [thinking, Oh no. oh no, oh NO!]

C: And the cost of my cat's insulin went up!

Me: [thinking I totally misheard] Your CAT'S insulin?

C: [in a condescending tone] Yes, my cat. It's human insulin, you know. She's a diabetic. I paid yyy for medicine and now I pay zzz. Can you believe it?

Me: [thinking that since the insulin is FOR A CAT, ObamaCare isn't going to cover that anyway.] Hey, kiddo, show the nice lady your Halloween bag! [George tries to distract her by being cute. It doesn't work.]

C: Rants on about Obama, ObamaCare, he's a lier, insurance is rising, her agent said it is all due to Obama and then... "Did you know the cost of food is going to rise 35 per cent?"

Me: Well, we've had two years of crazy weather so of course it is going to effect the growing season...

Cashier: Oh, it has nothing to due with the weather! The weather has NOTHING to do with the rising cost of food! It's all Obama's fault!


 Well, I might not be completely knowledgeable about politics, the weather and Obama... but I am preeeeettty sure our president is NOT a deity and does not control the weather.

 During this whole thing, I never addressed George by name but I was SO TEMPTED to say, "Come on, Barack! It's time to pick little brother Obama up from school!" I might be buying a Duck Dynasty glass, but that doesn't mean I am above screwing with people and being snarky. Alas, good manners got the best of me (wouldn't my mother be proud?) and I left with a polite, "Have a nice day!"

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