Questions without answers

There are questions children ask that need answers but have none.

Why I born early?

Babies float in a big swimming pool of water. Your swimming pool broke and the doctors took you out because they were afraid you would get sick inside of Mommy.

I sick?

No, you weren’t sick. We were afraid you would get sick.

I had owe in my nose.

Yes,  you had a tube in your nose to feed you and a tube in your mouth to breathe.

Like Baby Who.

Yes, like your cousin.

George’s birth story is important because it is his story, the way he entered this world. It’s important to know not only because of this, but because his start in life is part of his health history. For years, people will ask me if there were complications with his birth and pregnancy and he will have heard the same answers over and over again: PPROM, RDS, the vent, the oral issues. One day, he will have to take charge of his own health and he will have to answer these questions for himself.

I rejoice that my son has his own voice and is able to ask these questions on his own. He has the questions and I should have the answers.

I don't, though.

I can tell him scientifically, why. I can tell him what the doctors told me. I can tell him about the wonderful people we have met, the gifts we have been given, the joy that has come with his journey.

But I don't know why.

I don't know why him.

I don't know why us.

Most of the time, I trust. Most of the time . . . I wish I knew why.