Smells like... AARP

I have a rash.

It is a big, bad ugly rash and it is everywhere.

Actually, I think it is a yeast rask on my skin but it is still big, bad, ugly and it itcccchhhhessss.

To combate the Skin Yeastie-Beasties, you just use vaginal yeast cream on your skin OR take medicine that will kill your live. Since I tend to like my liver, I am using the cream in liberal doses. I smear yeast cream, porasis cream, anti-itch cream AND Gold Bond Powder on my body two times a day. I'll spare you the details about where I have the rash but I do have it on my back, which means my husband needs to help me.

I know I smell like a bad nursing home but Adam is no help! He draws pictures with it on my back before he rubs it in and coos, "Ooohhh, so sexy! I love the new perfume! What is it? Vintage AARP?"

I love you too honey, Now shut up and scratch my back.