Because 32 weeks is never easy

At 32 weeks with Joseph, I was very swollen but still working two jobs.

At 32 weeks with Camille, I had pictures taken and then Adam and Joseph got sick and I got totally run down caring for those two. I also dropped Pyrex on my toe, thought my water had broken and got ready for the holiday season.

At 32 weeks with Georgie, both Joe and Cami had the pukies on and off for over a week. I began waking up in pre-term labor and then contracted BV which we think led to my water breaking.

I was 32 weeks on Saturday. Sunday, Camille started vomiting. Adam was sick too (but not puking) and we managed to take turns taking care of her. She ran out of sheets that night and I ended up changing out laundry at 3 am.

Monday, I began feeling sick and spent Monday-Tuesday night awake, unable to breathe and miserable. I got out of bed to get some cold medicine and discovered it was all expired! Adam still didn't feel well and stayed home to help with school drop off. Camille was still sick, so she stayed home from preschool. We managed to sound patetic enough to a friend, so she took Joe for the afternoon. Even Georgie had a cold, so Joseph and Fancy were the only healthy beings in the house!

I had an OB appointment and I kept it, wanting him to look at my throat and ears too. I kid you not, I had every opening in my body examied, swabbed or both! He looked in my ears (fine), my throat (fine, but ordered a strep test) and it was a "pants off" appointment. The nurse asked if I wanted to do my Group B Strep test that week or wait. I chose that week since I was kid less and I had another pap since they didn't get enough cells from my other pap to do the test properly.

The good news is my cervix is closed and thick. YAY! BUT this means NOTHING since I don't dilate before labor.

The bad news is that we think the baby is butt down. When he went to palpate me, I said, "I'm not sure what position he is in. I know he was transverse and I feel alot of movement at top but also down low too." The HB was low but he had a hard time finding the position. The lump at top doesn't feel like a butt to me. All the other kids stuck their butt up to be rubbed; he doesn't. I have NEVER EVER questioned the position of one of my kids before and I've been wondering about this turkey for several weeks.

Sooooo... I have an u/s on Tuesday. I have a chiro appointment Wends and possibly Thursday to do the Webster Technique on me to help him mosey south. People tell me I have plently of time but I don't. I had a baby at 35 weeks, and I go early and fast. I want him head down before then.

But you know what? I cannot have a breech vaginal with my dr. I can go to the NICU hospital and have one there. My dr and I both agree that I am the perfect canidate for a breech vaginal. I have had three babies pass through easily. I didn't even tear with the last two! If he was in a "good" breech position, we know I could do it.

I cannot, emotionally, deliver at OPRMC knowing that the NICU is only a floor above me.

I cannot, emotionally, "loose" another dr. I need to see MY dr either for the birth or thereafter.

I cannot leave the hospital WIHTOUT my baby.

Breech vaginals are generally safe. They do carry risks to the baby, like any birth plan.

C/s are generally safe but they do carry risks, to both the mother and baby.

I am going to do everything I can to help him turn. But I want, I need, a healthy baby more than I need a vaginal birth.

And you know what? I so FRICKIN ROCK. I have had THREE unmedicated vaginal deliveries. I gave birth in THREE HOURS. I've only had one IV in THREE births. Never had an epsiotomy; I only tore ONCE and that includes the baby born with his hand under his chin! Twice I've literally walked out of the hospital. I. AM. AWESOME.

If I have a c/s this time, I reserve the right to worry. I reserve the right to be pissed. But I don't know if I will try for a breech vaginal unless I can get the hospital my dr is at to allow a trial of labor. I need my baby healthy and home WITH me, more than anything. And if I need surgery to do so, so be it.