Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Things Fall Apart

And by "things" I mean me. My body.

I turned 35 last month. I love my birthday because, hello, CAKE and my mother always makes my favorite pie and it is ALL MINE and I DON'T HAVE TO SHARE. Oh, and presents, even if I do tend to buy them myself, give them to my husband saying, "Guess what you got me for my birthday!" and act surprised when I open them.

Did I say PIE?

A lot of my friends have issues with getting older but I'm mostly "meh" about the whole thing. I love an excuse to go out to eat and get presents so I still consider my birthday fun. Plus, it's gonna happen anyway so I might as well enjoy it, right?

(We'll ignore the fact that my sister pointed out I'm halfway to 70 and my dad commented on how old I am. I'm in the market for a new dad and sister; inquire via e-mail.)

So, anyway, birthday = yay! Until this month.

It began with (TMI) the longest cycle in four years. Being Catholic and using NFP, I keep track of the who, what, when and where of my cycle and this one was dragging on a week longer than normal. I was getting nervous, although my mother said this began happening to her around my age. What is this, peri-peri menopause? I'm not ready for this malarkey.

After that, I noticed my pants and skirts getting tighter. I haven't changed my dietary habits so I'm not sure what's up with that. I did take this as a hint to hit the treadmill more often, which I have been doing. Fall should be here soon and I'll be able to take walks more often.

The long cycles and weight gain I can deal with, grudgingly, but then! Today! I found a GREY HAIR in my bangs. Oh, HECK NO. I had one last year, in my eyebrows, and I just had that sucker waxed away. It didn't return so I chalked it up to stress and grief. But this one! in my bangs! I treat my hair so nice... pricey vegan shampoo! gentle scrubbings! no dye! And this is how it repays me?! Nope. No. Not happening.

This is war, people, all out hair war. I'm going in for a trim tomorrow and plan to ask my hairdresser if there are any more nasty little suckers in there. If there are, I will not be going grey with grace and dignity. Nope. Goin' down fighting over here, with a box of hair dye clutched in my grubbing paws.

I might be getting older, I might feel older but I'm not going to look older. Nope.

No comments:

Post a Comment