My two year old is insane.

Oh.my.goodness. I do not remember the older two children being this INSANE at two and I KNOW George wasn't! Okay, well, I do remember Joseph being tough to deal with but Cole... Cole is a person unto himself.

He's always loved to climb on things but I thought that stage was past. Nope! He is back to climbing on the table and pushing chairs all over the kitchen to get what he wants! He also climbs over the back of the couch or chairs and dives head first to the carpet.

Someone taught him to say NO! Every time I try to put a shirt on him, he turns into an oil covered jellyfish. If I ask him to pick between two shirts, he says, "NO!" If I hand  him the shirt to put on by himself, he throws it on the floor, stomps on it and says, "NO!" But heaven forbid I tell him no! Then he fake cries and lays on the floor, pouting. After a moment, he'll laugh and run away!

We have been going into the speech therapy room with George. Thursday, we convinced George to go in by himself. Cole and I were going to wait in the waiting room, color and play with toys. What did the little stinker tell me? NO! Then he ran over to the door, jerked it open, ran inside the therapy room and slammed the door in my face! Of course he laughed like a maniac and cried when I pulled him out. We walked the halls and he was so pathetic the women who work down the hall gave him a cookie.

The nursery was closed Sunday so I had him in the cry room. He pulled all the prayer cards out of the hymnals and threw them on the floor. I had to take him out to the narthex where he only tried to play in the Holy Water five times.Then he tried to pull the fire alarm, make a break for it, screamed for the drinking fountain and lay down on the floor. Thankfully, there was only one other mother out there and she was just laughing.

The icing on the "insane toddler" cake happened this weekend with my mother. My mom usually has endless patience with the kids and their antics. She helped me give the little boys a bath and get them ready for bed. Of course, Cole didn't want his diaper on and was preforming a crocodile death roll for me and ripping off his diaper. My mom reached down to hold his hands so I could refasten the diaper and put shorts on him. He spit at her! She was less than amused. Man, you know your a nutso when you manage to annoy your grandmother!

Ah! This kid is going to drive me to drinking! It's a good thing he has those pretty blond curls and big blue eyes and is such a snuggle bug or I would sell him to the zoo!