And it ain't over yet, folks.
This summer has been nutso. I'm not sure what it is, but all six of us have been out of sorts since the beginning.
I would like to blame it on the beginning of summer and our annual Trek Up North. We went to visit family up north much earlier than normal. We left a day or two after the kids got out of school and right after Adam got home from a business trip. Right away, I was stressed with trying to clean and pack on top of all the normal "end of the school year" parties. When we got back, it felt like we were in the middle of summer when it had really just begun.
June went by in a hazy of mandatory overtime for Adam and, thus, me. (Hey, when Daddy works late, Momma is working late too!) Again, I had to get ready for the trip to PA alone. It was a fast trip. Adam grips that he spent more time driving to and from the reunion than in PA itself. I agree and said we should have stayed longer. He snapped at me that we didn't have the money for the extra hotel nights... well, I get it but then don't complain!
Speaking of the reunion, I have been struggling since we got back. I miss the East Coast more than I ever thought I did. I don't think this heat wave is helping. In addition to being hot and miserable, I left the warm, green hills for . . . brown, dead, dry grass. Everything around here is dying. The front lawns in our town varying from "I have a watering system and know how to use it" to "More Brown and Barren than the Dessert." Ours is somewhere in between with our backyard looking pretty good, thanks to the children using the sprinkler. The trees have not died. We are still getting zucchini, cucumbers and tomatoes, although I am worried about Peter the Pumpkin.
I'm sure the heat is sucking the life out of me, making me miserable, but ever since we returned, I have been having horrible dreams. Not PTSD dreams but spiritual attack type dreams. I am not sleeping well at all. The sun shines brightly into our room at "too darn early" o'clock and doesn't set until "crabby and overtired" hits. The kids don't sleep in at all,so I am up early no matter when I go to bed.
I am really struggling with the sin of envy too. I feel like I am struggling to meet the needs of all the kids this summer, I had a break a week or so ago, when the three youngest spent the afternoon with their grandparents and I went shopping and did some work in peace and quiet. Washington trip aside, I have not had time alone, in my house, without any of the children or my husband. I really wish I had help in the evenings with the children or time when someone came over to take care of them, the house and allowed me to write or work on 31 stuff. I know, I need a clone! However, I have been feeling really envious of family members who have help like that. We don't and we can't afford to hire someone. I need to get over myself and deal but it has been so much harder this time around.
Now that George is done with summer school and Cole is on an every other week routine for speech, I am hoping to make the most of the final few weeks of summer. Everyone is praying the heat wave and drought breaks so it will be easier and cooler to go places. There are a few free things I want to do around town but they will be so much easier if it were ten or twenty degrees cooler. (You know, a balmly 95 perhaps.) We'll see... but I am determined to get us out of this runt!
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