Sunday, February 26, 2012

10 Reasons to Revoke My Natural Parent Card

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival
This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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I'm a natural parent. At least, that's what I call myself and that's what I write about. I even write for this spiffy cool web site call "The Natural Parents Network." It's about (get this!) natural parenting. It's pretty obvious that all the volunteers are pretty crunchy and talk about things like breastfeeding, granola, composting, and cloth diapering. But none of us are the perfect natural parent.

I know, I know. GASP! SHOCK! HORROR!

We all have our un-crunchy side, our "big, bad conventional" way of doing things that may shock you. Sit down, get your smelling salts and get ready for a confessional.

Forgive me, natural parent community, for I have some un-crunchy things that I do:

1. I use tampons. Yes, that's right, bleached, flush -able tampons. I use a bajillion cloth products around the house but I haven't given up my tampons. I like the idea of a diva or a keeper but I just can't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on something I might not like. I mean, what do you do with it if it doesn't work for you? "Yes, I used it once but I would like to return it since it doesn't work"? It's not like it's a shirt or something they could resell.

2. I refuse to use a reusable toilet bowl wand OR stick my hand, with a rag attached, into the potty to clean it. I deal with enough sh!t that I would rather use my Clorox wands and put that nasty thing right into the trash. Forgive me, environment, but please remember the years of cloth diapering.

3. Not all of our food is organic. Not even close. AND we like McDonald's. Not as much as Chik-Fil-A but I do like their iced tea and french fries....

4. The little boys are in disposables at night and PuddinPie is in them all the time. If I weren't so cheap, I think we would be done with cloth by now because I am tired of washing diapers. I like cloth and I normally don't mind it, but after nearly eight years, I am feeling done! (Don't worry, my guilty conscience won't let me give up even our 1/4 of the time cloth diapering.)

and sometimes they have
 candy for breakfast!
5. My kids go to the Evil, Soul Sucking Public School and THEY LIKE IT.

6. I have my children in the hospital. Yes, they were all natural, drug free births but they were still in the hospital. I even stay the whole time for a mini vacation with my baby. And, no, I have never eaten, dyhdrated or made a smoothie out of my placenta. I firmly believe in the benefits of it and I do believe it can help off-set PPD... but my husband would faint and then divorce me if I even brought it up!

7. We vaccinate. My children are on a delayed and selective schedule for religious and health reasons (one child has had vaccine reactions) but if it weren't for those reasons, we would probably do everything on the traditional schedule because, well, we would.

8. I used formula with my third child when he weaned because I was pregnant. I even needed to use the evil Nestle brand because it was the only kind he could tolerate. My fourth child got formula as a newborn and I really believed it saved his life.

9. I have a temper. Granted, I am so much better than I used to be and people can even describe me as mild mannered sometimes but, yeah, I've been known to yell. Hey, I only do it when provoked AND I'm working on it!

10. My kids watch TV and like characters. We have Cars, princesses, cars, more cars, trains with faces and more trains...oh, and American Girl dolls! floating around this house... and I don't mind one whit!


there is nothing organic about this food.
 Whew! I feel better now. Now you know, even with my (1/4 of the time) cloth diapering, my homemade cleaners, eco-friendly soap for clothes, homeopatic remedies and extended breastfeeding, I am far from the perfect natural parent. But you know what? Parenting isn't about being the perfect parent... it's about being the perfect parent for your child. And sometimes, what they need is a mom who will surprise them with a picnic McDonald's lunch at the playground on the perfect fall day. Or a mom who buys the laundry soap on-line instead of making it so she can watch Cars2 (again) with them and eating popcorn. Parenting, even natural parenting, isn't about being perfect but, rather, "darn near perfect" moments and memories.

(The yelling thing though? Yeah, I'm working on that!)

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I'm a Natural Parent — But … Blog CarnivalThis carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

20 comments:

  1. "Or a mom who buys the laundry soap on-line instead of making it so she can watch Cars2 (again) with them and eating popcorn." Amen, sister!! I did a lot more awesome crunchy stuff before Kieran was mobile, because, well, he didn't object. He just rode around on my back admiring how crunchy I was. And then I had to spend more time *parenting* than doing random crunchy things. And I don't feel too bad about it ;)

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    1. There are definatly some non-crunchy things I do that I don't feel bad about! I figure even watching Cars2 (again!) and eating McDonald's fries with the kids IS crunchy/attachment-y because we are making loving memories! Awe! :)

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  2. I do so many of the things on your list too. Eating the placenta really tripped me up. I understand the benefits, and what it does, and I was a prime candidate for it being helpful, but I couldn't even consider it. *shudder*

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    1. I too am the perfect canidate for eating it... but I couldn't. I didn't want to jump through all the hoops in the hospital. I was much more interested in donating the cord blood but, alas, I could pay to bank it but not DONATE it. That kinda annoyed me!

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  3. I think we all have our "list" of things that make us un-crunchy! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Yeah, I think if everyone did everything perectly crunchy we'd go insane! Or maybe just me. :)

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  4. I really enjoyed cloth diapering my son when he was little, but now that he is a toddler, with his MASSIVE poos, I much prefer just throwing them out in disposables. He also likes to slip them on himself and has shown interest in the potty. We are now that much more un-crunchy for putting those cloth nappies away and purchases the plastic but it works for us, so what can I say?

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    1. I hate the toddler poos. I keep forgetting to put the liners in, although it makes it easier to clean the poo off the diaper and easier to wash. But, yeah. Give methe breastmilk or formula poo anyday!

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  5. Awesome post! I always hated tampons and was grossed out by the diva-cup so I ordered a 'free sample' of the "instead soft-cup". They work a bit differently and aren't as re-usable but it was great for a trial run of reusable menstrual products. I'm about to have my first kid and hate the idea of having to order yet another diva-cup but, I LOVE how much money I save by not using tampons anymore.

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    1. Thanks for the tip! I'll look for the free sample!

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    2. This is what I did too!! I use a diva cup now but tested the whole cup idea with insteads. =) Free sample is a great tip!! Diva cup is more comfortable for me. Insteads were great but I could feel it.

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  6. This list makes we want to do a list of ten too - I think the confessional approach could really free us all up! With you on the temper and likewise working on it...please pass on any tips or techniques that work for you!

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  7. Love this, and I'm so glad to have found your blog through this carnival. Ah, #10 . . . the characters. We are awash in characters! Mickey, Dora, princesses, oh my! They LOVE them. We have not one, but TWO Disney vacations planned in 2012. My son has an Ariel toothbrush. (Hey, he has two sisters and those things come in multipacks.)

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    1. I am jelous of the Disney vacation! I want to go SO BAD and my husband is twitching at the thought of going. My extended fam is planning a vacation but it keeps getting pushed back.
      I bribed my daughter with Disney princess sheets if she would sleep in her own bed. I always figure if characters get your kid potty trained/learned or sleeping in their own bed... rock on. Hey, maybe that's confession number 11? :)

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  8. The way you presented your confessions had me peeing from laughter! Soul sucking public school! Hee hee! I'm with you on toilets too. And I have used tampons before. Oh dear...aren't we the uncrunchy ones! :) Thanks for the honesty. Glad we are all such honest sort crunchy natural parents. Ha!

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    1. I did a whole post about Evil Soul Sucking Public Schools... it's all tounge in cheek. I don't think public schools are evil OR soul sucking but I had alot of people tell me that if I sent them there, they would all be anti religious goth heretics. Heh.
      I love that we are all uncrunchy in some ways AND honest!

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  9. Great post! We all have our crunch and our non crunchy bits. And I think we are ALL working on the yelling! Parenting is HARD!
    Also: I'm an avid breastfeeding advocate and I TOTALLY agree that formula saves lives. Absolutely, and that is what it exists for. That, and when pregnancy dries up your milk!! Thanks for posting, this carnival was so reassuring.

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  10. Fabulous post. There were things on your list that I didn't even KNOW were un-crunchy. Damn!

    Hilarious. I enjoyed the read. :)

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  11. Actually, The Keeper has a 3-month money-back guarantee! Although they can't resell it, they are so confident you'll like it that they are willing to lose money on the few women who don't. The Diva used to have a guarantee, too, but I couldn't find any info about it on their site now.... I have tried and liked both, and you can read lots of details about menstrual cups on my site if you like.

    My kid attends a soul-sucking public school and likes it, too. :-) I'm going to look for your post on the subject!

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    1. Oh, thanks for the link! I may have to get one for my next cycle!

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