Monday, April 2, 2012

Just another Monday....

MIDNIGHT- Cole stirs for the umpteenth time since he fell asleep with me around five. I had been sick all Sunday and napped most of the afternoon. At some point, he crawled into bed with me and just slept... and slept... and slept... he would stir, I would pat him and he would go back to sleep.

By this time, he would wake up and cry if he didn't find me with him so I just dragged him off the floor in our room (we had moved his mattress in there) and put him in bed with us.

5:45- Adam's alarm clock goes off. I kick the person next me and hope it's Adam, not a kid. It's Adam. I tell him to turn his "darn" alarm off and moan that I am hoooot.

6 am: Cole cries

6:15- I make Adam turn on the TV. Adam says I should shower. I tell him that I can't move since I am wedged firmly between him and Cole. He drags himself into a sitting position and pole-vaults over George, who then rolls to me and wedges his sweaty self under my other side. Cole flops all over my like a dying jellyfish and I go back to sleep.

6:45- drag myself out of bed. Cole cries because I have moved two feet away from him. I use the bathroom and grunt responses to Adam. Check Facebook. Drag self into the shower and tell Adam to put coffee on and fed the kids.

7:30- Drag self downstairs. Complain about heat. Mutter death threats until I get my coffee. It's reheated form the day before but I don't care. Remind Adam to give Cole is medicine. Fight about who has to give it to him. I stand my ground and tell him that I am not drugging the baby because I can NOT fight him one.more.time over oral medicine. I win. Adam has to pin it down, shove it down his throat and get spit up on.

7:45- Adam has left the building (lucky sap!) and I remind the kids to eat. I try to eat. Every time I manage to get Cole interested in something so I can eat, he realizes that and cries. One of the girls picks him up and brings him to me. I grint my teeth and remind myself to that they are trying to be helpful and it's GOOD that they don't like to hear him cry,

8am- Call up stairs to tell the kids it's time to get ready to go.

8:02- call upstairs again.

8:05- well, it must be opposite day since NO ONE IS LISTENING.

Tell them the Wrath of 10,000 Mommies will fall upon them if they do not brush their teeth, put on socks and get MOVING.

8:15- Joseph is lacing up his new tennis shoes. I ask him where his new Keen's are. "I don't know."
"I don't know."
And WHERE are Georgie's shoes?"
"I dunno."

I contemplate why I BOTHER to have a large basket and a hanging shoe rock right inside the bathroom off the garage if NO ONE bothers to use it as I look for George's new shoes. They are in his bedroom, in two different spots. Makes sense. NOT.

8:20- Leave for school. Discuss why our neighbors are having a new roof put on and why you cannot pass the colored flags they have draped around the house. Look at Joseph and realize he is  not carrying his lunch box. Tell him to go get lunchbox.
I ask the girls and Georgie to stop and wait. They (safely) cross the street. Grumbling under my breath, I follow them, asking them to stop in a certain driveway. My bad. It's Opposite Day, so of course they don't stop. I finally yell at them to PARK IT and they do. (In this case, yelling was needed since they had moved too far beyond me to hear me in a normal voice.)

8:35- Drop them off at school on time (by the skin of every one's teeth).

9 am- Return home from a walk. Cole is asleep in his stroller. Discover Adam didn't clean out his pockets so I have alot of washed paper and lint to deal with. Rehearse my, "I do not clean out the pockets of grown men" line along with my, "No, your clothes aren't wrinkled!" innocent look. Fold laundry, talk to my mother on the phone, toss a bag of chicken into the crock pot to cook down- a little for tonight's dinner and lots to freeze to use in the future. Pack up laundry and random Beanie Babies that get used as missiles to take up stairs. Lug four boxes of clothing to the basement. Remind self to mail a baby gift. Check Facebook, e-mail and finish a post for NPN.

9:50- Cole wakes up. Marvel at how much I get done in a kid free hour. Cuddle Cole, watch TV and give him a snack.

10:30- Tell Cole TV time is over. He greats this with howls. Pacify him by saying, "Do you want to use the food processor and help Mommy shred cheese?" He grins and wiggles off the couch to get a chair. What a nut!

We shred cheese and eat a snack.

11- A friend calls. We chat. Soon it is 11:15 and I have to breeze out of the house to get Georgie. Yikes! Guess we aren't walking.

11:20- get an awesome report from G's teacher about how he talked in music therapy. I try to convince him to get out of the front seat of the car so I can pull forward and we can wait for Camille. It takes some doing but he finally moves. I clean out the car while the little ones run in the grass... and disrupt the kindergarten class having their reading lesson outside. Ops.

11:35- Another mother reminds me that I am a giant loser and need to get Cami's part of the pressie for her teacher turned in. I inform her I am a giant SICK looser but, yes, the pressie will be done tomorrow as promised. Write a memo to myself to not, as a room mother, have a birthday or Christmas pressie that requires massive amounts of work from other parents.

NOON- Lunch. Try to find a clean bowl to cook the mac and cheese in as Cole table dances and Georgie begs for Dinosaur Train. Manage to sit down while the mac and cheese is cooking and pacify the kids with Chuggyton.

Fed the kids. Only one of them eats. I am pretty convinced the boys live on milk and fruit. Camille scarfs two bowls.

Begin to prepare dinner. Tonight is a busy night and I making Chicken and Broccoli Noodle Casserole only with no scallions, spaghetti instead of noodles and Trader Joe's Ritz crackers on top. So, just like the recipe, only not! I set the water to boil, grab some pasta and Camille's bag of books from school. As the water boils, I park my butt on the couch with Camille.

12:30- Georgie shoves a book in my face. I say no, it is sister's turn to read.
Cami looks at me like I have 12 heads and informs me the letter "R" says "grrrrr." I mentally bang my head against the wall and remind myself why I did NOT want to teach little ones to read. Heck, I don't want to teach my OWN kids to read. Give 'em to me at 12, when they can read and write.

Camille finally read "Roy Runs." I remind her to look at the words, the whole words and nothing but the words when reading... because she was guessing from the pictures. I also think she figures out repeating books fast and has some of her books memorized. Hum.

1pm- Throw the pasta in and settle down to read a train book to the boys. After I finish, Geogie points to the book and says, "Two?" I try to tell him that only Grams can read train books twice ... and then the water boils over so I run to fix that.

1:20- I try to color with Cole. As soon as I move to get more crayons, he dumps my tea on the floor and table dances. I declare coloring time DONE.

2pm- More laundry. And bath time. Cole dumps the folded laundry and Beanie Babies on the floor.

2:10- "Yes, I need to help you wash your hair."
"If you don't rinse your hair, the soap will never come out."
"I can do it MYSELF."
"But you are not scrubbing your scalp!"

2:15- "George, Cole, stop trying to drown each other."

2:16- Bath time OVER. I clip their nails... and this actually goes smoothly.

3- Snack time. TV time. Drinking... never mind. Throw casserole together and store in the microwave. Empty and reload dishwaser and run it.

3:30- Facebook!

4: Joseph's home and we need to move to TKD!
"I don't WANT to go to Confession!"
"I understand this but you, Daddy and I NEED to go to Confession. How about we get a treat afterwards?"
"I want to stay home with Cami,George and Cole!"
"They are coming with us."
"Will they get a treat?"
"BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR. Make them go to Confession to get a treat too!"
"When they are eight, they will go..."
"It's not FAIR."
"I understand but. . ." But it's not five o'clock yet. Damn.

4:15- George falls asleep in the car. CRAP.

4:20- Move George from the car to the shopping cart at WM. He acts like a bobble head before falling asleep in the cart, his head on the diaper bag.
"Now we need to coco powder."
"Can we go to the toy aisle?"
"Yes, after we get shampoo."
"Can we go now?"

4:45- "I am sorry, this lane is closing."
"I am sorry, this lane is closing too."
"My bad, I forget that at 4:45 on a Monday, you close all your lanes to annoy the p!ss out of customers." (Okay,  I really didn't say this but someone behind me gave the nicer version of that line!)

5 pm- Get Camille and go home. Georgie still asleep.
"Joe, I need you to clean off the table while Cami gets changed."
"But I don't WANT TO. I want to watch TV. I have not watched TV ALL DAY."
"Joseph, you need to clear off the table and then you can help with dinner."
"But I don't. . . ." Okay, do I really need to write out where this conversation is going? But, yeah, he did clean off the table and set it while I heated the casserole through. When it was done, he scarfed two huge helpings.

5:20- Daddy home! Georgie still asleep. Discuss if George is down for the night. I think not. Adam thinks so. Adam is normally wrong.

5:40- Joseph to TKD.

6:00- Adam home. He eats dinner, carried Georgie upstairs, and counts money in the Rice Bowl. It is all money people leave laying around or forget to take out of their pockets before the wash. We have $7.11. Not bad.

6:15- Agree that I will stay home with the three younger kids while Adam and Joe go to Confession. Adam says he will come back as soon as he is done so I can go. I clean up the kitchen. Camille follows me around. Cole destroys cabinets.

6:45- I take Cole upstairs to go to bed.He's all excited to see me read on the iPad. Me too kid. I'm happy when I can sit down!

7:15- Cole asleep and one interruption by Camille. I put him on a mattress in our room and do some work on the computer.

8:00- Camille to bed. Confession is now over. Looks like I am heading to another church if I want to go before Easter!

8:15- Adam and Joseph home with a 1/3 pound burger from Hardees. Joseph was bribed. Adam's bribes are apparently better than mine; I got him Oreos, per his request. Joseph inhales the burger. I am scared now.

8:30- Joe to bed. I tell him I am proud that he went to Confession. He just shoots me a look. Well excuse me for caring about your soul, kid!

9- Cole wakes up. I lay with him on his mattress to get him back to sleep.Wine with my husband. We discuss possible SLPs for speech over the summer. Think about making plans for vacations. He watches the KU game. I screw around on FB and write.

10:15- Cole back up.Lay down with him. Go back to writing. And FB.

11- Cole up. Repeat. I am still up. Why am I up? I need to go to bed.

Just another Monday...


  1. Your day reminds me so much of how I spend mine... but I only have one kid, yikes, it definitely gets worse with more from the sounds of this ;) Had a good giggle at it too, thanks for sharing!

  2. You are hilarious. I'm glad to know that the TV engenders such impassioned pleading in other NPN houses ;)